Money seems to constantly be on my mind. As a somewhat recent college graduate I have become accustomed to closely monitoring my bank account and watching where I am spending all my money. This is exhausting. I have been lucky in that since graduating I have never had a point in time in which I did not have a job or any prospect of a job. Granted there were times when I came close (one job ending and not sure where the next one was) but I have been blessed to never wake up and honestly not know when or from where my very next paycheck will come. Still, you don't make much right out of school and especially when your first year out is spent volunteering.
I am only three years out so it might make sense to some that I would only be about a quarter to a third of the way through paying off my loans. Well, I don't like debt. Not that I have a lot of experience with it, but the idea that when my paycheck comes in and automatically ___% of it is not mine because of interest on a loan bugs me. I feel tied down and limited by my debt and I want to escape from it as soon as possible. Don't get me wrong, I am tired of the constant calculations and trying to figure out if I send an extra $100 to the federal government to pay for my college education (which I don't know that I am actually using) will that mean I am out of debt a day, a week, even a month earlier? It takes a lot of energy and discipline. I still like to splurge or treat myself every once in a while, but that generally takes the form of a specialty coffee or a really nice beer.
Yesterday I reached a new milestone in my trek to get out of debt. I am now down to two student loans (started with 5) and I owe under $9,500 (started with $21,000). This is great and I am very excited. I should feel this weight lifting off my shoulders. The opening of doors to travel and see more of the world. But there is always something else isn't there?
Suddenly I seem to be hearing about retirement from everyone. "What you save in your 20's determines your retirement." I have heard that from my sister, my mother, people on TV and the internet. Suddenly at 25 I feel like I am behind and I will now have to work forever to have enough money to retire. But should I be paying off my loans or saving money for retirement? Shouldn't I also have an emergency fund? I hear 6 months worth of pay is the standard. And what if I one day want to buy a house? When do you save up that money and how do you balance that with loans, retirement, and a basic savings account?
Here I was thinking I was doing so well to simply head towards getting out of debt before schedule and now I find out that I am worse off than I thought. I have heard the phrase "Live like no one else so you can live like no one else" many times, but at what point do you finally get to start that second part? At what point do I finely get to really live? At times I wonder if it is worth all this saving and monitoring of my budget if I have to delay enjoying the benefits for years and years. Being an adult is just not nearly as much fun as I thought it would be. Here I thought I would have all this freedom to buy a candy bar if I wanted one, but it turns out that candy bar means deferring funds away from more practical things like buying fruits and vegetables.
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